Magic Marketing Juice Revealed!

What is Magical Marketing Juice? Read on and find out..

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Magical Marketing Juice is the sort of thing that’s only talked about in dark alleys by faceless individuals speaking in hushed tones. It’s powers are so grand and it’s secrets are so great that any single person marketing their business after taking just a sip of this heavenly concoction would have enough success to last to the end of their days.

My quest to learn the secrets of Magical Marketing Juice was born out of a desire to catapult my own business. So through diligent research and a few alliances with individuals who cannot be named lest their lives be at risk, I finally found the source of this potent mixture. In a land far away lay the answers to all of my marketing dilemmas. My lips were about to taste the grandest of marketing prizes!

High atop the Andes mountains, in a small cave barely lit by smoldering torches sits a small man with a long white beard. He’s the keeper-of-marketing-secrets. He has more marketing knowledge in his little pinky than the worlds greatest entrepreneurs. After a two-week hike through some of the roughest terrain known to man-kind, I wearily set down my pack and approached him. In the dull orange glow of this cold, hard cave I asked if I may partake of his home-made concoction - Magical Marketing Juice - to reach the heights of success beyond my wildest dreams.

He slowly opened one eye with a raised brow and said …

“There IS NO Magical Marketing Juice you insufferable, unthinking, warthog-faced peasant! Now get outta my cave before I go ‘Kung Fu’ on your backside!”

Well, so much for life’s mysteries! He did offer to sign me up for his bi-weekly newsletter before I left, though I declined as the entire trip left me with a sour, bitter taste in my mouth - it wasn’t what I was expecting, but at least I finally had a chance to discover the true taste of Magical Marketing Juice.

Every day on any number of marketing forums on the internet you’ll see posts such as this:

“Please Help! I need a fast way to generate lots of money on my website and I only have $20 to spend!”

“I need a writer who can write a book for me - I can’t pay up front but I’ll give you some profits!”

“I’m looking for an expert web-designer to build my site but I’m just starting so I have very little cash!”

These examples aren’t made up, mind you. These individuals are all on the same quest I was - forsaking the age-old advice of “you get what you pay for” and in some cases throwing common sense out the window in pursuit of the impossible. Perhaps it’s the culture of the internet where everything is available instantly and immediately as soon as you ask for it. This goes far beyond a “get-rich-quick” scheme - this is a pervasive thought process that can be a real dangerous dose of anti-reality to someone trying to make an honest living online or offline.

Combine the desire for quick ways to bolster your biz and generate a ton of cash with various internet marketing products out there and you have a recipe for disaster. Some people sell marketing eBooks for $20 that are accompanied with sales letters so stacked with hype phrases like “Laser-Focused”, “Ultra-Powerful”, and “Once-In-A-Lifetime” that the only end result is someone with the bitter, sour taste of Magical Marketing Juice in their mouth.

Does that mean that someone selling a marketing eBook for $20 is responsible for this? No. Does this mean that every marketing book out there is not worthwhile? Not at all - however, this is a “buyer beware” culture accompanied by a heavy dose of “you get what you pay for” and that’s even more important when dealing with businesses on the internet. All this does is serve as a warning …

If ever you find yourself pulling your hair out, and beginning the search for that great Holy Grail of Marketing Miracles, do everything you can to resist. What you really need is time, and a step back to see everything with an objective eye. Only then will you taste the sweet fruit of your hard work instead of the empty bitter gulp of that Mythical Marketing Juice!

This entry was posted on September 7, 2006 at 10:13 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.